Does every “How To Write and Make Money” article on Medium feels like some Publishers Clearing House Ponzi scheme?
For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be a writer. My childhood journals are riddled with spelling errors and earnest laments about my dreams of advanced English degrees and published novels. But I’ve got a job and a mortgage and while I’m hustling to do all the good stuff, I’m not naming and claiming or whatever other bullshit I’m supposed to have accomplished by the age of 30. But today I’m giving myself permission to just write and be.
Because I’ve come to realize that yes, you can make money and perhaps even be self-employed as a freelance writer, but sometimes it just feels good to write. And I appreciate and support all the writers out there who have followed their dreams but I’ve done the whole sleeping on a sunporch for $600 a month and surviving on a diet of canned tuna and roommate leftovers and I’m not in the position, or mental space, to hustle until I crack. And that’s ok.
Do I want to make passive income from the comfort of my palatial Florida Keys Heminway Mansion? Sure. Do I want to quit my job? WHO DOESNT. But every time I click through Medium for tips on how to make it big, I’m overwhelmed in a flood of gimmicky I’m still in college and making millions writing about my ferrets and you can too! Self-published articles that are the perfect clever cocktail of intrigue (“ferrets? really?”) and anxiety-inducing self-pity (“How can a 19-year-old be outperforming me in the world? Where are their parents to take them down a notch? I’m a terribly unaccomplished human!”)
First, let me share with you the clickbait formula we’ve all been falling for: I make [gob of money that is both large enough to give pause, but low enough to trick yourself into thinking it’s achievable] working from home writing [not an insane amount, but still “effort”] per week/month/year, using my [active] and [passive] income streams, working my [connections — networking, famous friends, bustling entrepreneurial spirit, Ritalin-and-Turkish-coffee-fueled midnight sprints] and staying [humble brag personal attribute, likely a variation on discipline, motivation, hunger, etc.)]
After clicking through dozens if not hundreds of these “self-help” articles over the last few months, my suggested reading list keeps climbing into the ridiculous. Every title screaming desperate people please click here are both insanely popular and hilariously repetitive. Do these five things to make a million. How I do it all. Become an overnight success. Why you aren’t making it. In my personal opinion, this rings a lot like — The cholesterol in eggs will kill you. Sugar causes diabetes — drink Splenda. No, Splenda will kill you faster. Drink water. Wait, drink water and take this pill to lose thirty pounds. Don’t eat fatty avocados. Wait, avocados are in. EAT AVOCADOS.
These preteens are making a bazillion dollars while eating Pizza Rolls in their mom’s basements while suckers like me are clicking on their articles that charge me to “wake up early! Publish often! Create a following! Push on Twitter!” Is it really that easy? This humbly reminds me of the Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode “Charlie Work.”
Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on jobbies.
Initial thought: I don’t have time, I’m too tired, I’m suffering a life-hangover. Gut check: I don’t want to. There is something in me — whether that’s temporary or permanent — that just straight up doesn’t want to put in the massive hours and scheduling and changing my routine at this moment because sometimes checking the boxes of a normal day is all I can handle.
Didn’t we all accidentally watch the movie I Don’t Know How She Does It where Sarah Jessica Parker, spoiler-alert, DOESN’T do it all? (No need to waste your time if you have not seen the movie. It has a 17% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It was a dark, lonely Saturday night. My brain shrunk three sizes that day.) Is there a formula for successful writing that earns money? Absolutely. Can you hustle your way to the top of the Medium publication list and get “claps” from thousands of strangers who anonymously cheer alongside you? It clearly happens every day. Can you inspire envy and admiration in the same post? Living. The. Dream. But these formulas change. They are not hard and fast, they are mobile and evolving, and kudos to the people who have the time, energy, and mental fortitude to crank it out and capitalize on the day’s writing fashion. Today, that’s not me. And I need to stop feeling bad about myself because it’s my decision to not engage at this level; I’m not the victim, and I can coexist with all the writing hustlers in the world until my day comes.
Today, I just wanted to write. And that’s ok.
